


Handmade Heaven

by dustofwarfare



Series: Handmade Heaven [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: D/s elements, Domestic Kink, M/M, Modern AU, Multi, No Magic AU, OT3, Open Relationship, Paddling, Polyamory, Rules, Spanking, ardyn lives a charmed life, domestic AU, noctis in a schoolgirl skirt, ravus forgets his morning tasks, unabashed pwp
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-10
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 01:18:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21383716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dustofwarfare/pseuds/dustofwarfare
Summary: “What, did I miss my curfew?” Noctis smiles at him. “You’re totally checking me out, by the way.”Ravus would argue that Noctis wore the outfit for attention in the first place, but what’s the point? “You’re not bad to look at it, if you’d stop talking.”Noctis actually laughs. “I’d say you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but I think you always do.”________An AU in which Ravus/Ardyn/Noctis live in a ridiculous house in the suburbs of Insomnia. Ardyn is the terror of the HOA, and Ravus and Noctis almost manage not to kill each other. Modern, no-magic AU with d/S overtones (mostly with Ardyn/Ravus). It's supposed to be fun, go with it.
Relationships: (background), Ardyn Izunia/Noctis Lucis Caelum, Prompto Argentum/Noctis Lucis Caelum, Ravus Nox Fleuret/Ardyn Izunia, Ravus Nox Fleuret/Ardyn Izunia/Noctis Lucis Caelum, Ravus Nox Fleuret/Noctis Lucis Caelum
Series: Handmade Heaven [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1541557
Comments: 16
Kudos: 76





	1. Rise and Shine

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ohmyfae](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohmyfae/gifts).

> I was talking to Ohmyfae about how these three were my OT3 and how I have this fic languishing in my gdocs. After Fae started posting their amazing designer!AU series, I promised to also post mine. My thanks to Freosan and Lita for letting me borrow their Ravus and Noctis, respectively ;)
> 
> Title from Marina (of "and the Diamonds" fame) and her newest album, _Love in Fear_.

It’s a little after six am, dawn a smear of pink beyond the window. Ravus is pouring water into the French press, his own mug of hot tea steaming on the counter as he waits for the coffee to steep. There’s a Keurig  _ and  _ a coffee maker neatly stored among the kitchen gadgets, but Ardyn likes his coffee a very particular way, and of course that way is the most complicated. 

Despite that, Ravus likes this task; he’s an early riser by habit and he enjoys the quiet time to himself and the easy familiarity of the motions. Less familiar, however, is the back door opening and Noctis slinking in, dressed in whatever absurd getup he wore to the club the night before. 

This one is a short, plaid schoolgirl skirt that barely grazes the tops of Noctis’s lean thighs, fishnet stockings that are ripped in several places and a pair of black gleaming leather combat boots. He’s wearing a plain tight black shirt and a wide black leather belt, his hair even messier than usual and his eyes rimmed with smeared eyeliner. 

Ravus looks at the clock on the microwave. “It’s six in the morning.” 

“Yeah. I went with Prompto to check out this new club that opens after all the other ones close.” Noctis yawns, then rakes a hand through his hair and glances at the French press. 

Ravus crosses his arms over his chest. “If you want some, fix your own.” 

“Nah. Gonna go shower and get some sleep.” Noctis stretches like a cat, muscles shifting. “I have class this afternoon.” 

Ravus tried to remember if he ever partied until six in the morning during college. Probably not. He’s never been the partying type. 

Noctis moves, more graceful than a man in heavy boots should be, the material of the skirt swishing a bit as he walks -- it really  _ is  _ indecently short -- and shifts so he’s nearly pressed up against Ravus, brushing against him as he reaches out and takes Ravus’s mug of tea. He drinks it, close enough that Ravus can see his throat swallowing as he does. 

“If you think I find this behavior charming, you must be confusing me with Ardyn,” Ravus says, nimbly snatching the mug from Noctis’s fingers. Even with Noctis wearing boots, Ravus is taller. And Noctis doesn’t put up much of a fight. 

“Definitely not confusing you with Ardyn,” Noctis says, head tilted. His smile is half-amused, half-challenging. “You’re not nearly as much fun.” 

No one has ever accused Ravus of being even slightly fun. He shrugs and sips his tea. “I’m not nearly as indulgent of your bad behavior, either.” 

Noctis moves a little closer and it’s annoying to realize that Ravus’s back is against the counter, with Noctis in his club-boy getup standing far too close for comfort. “What, did I miss my curfew?” Noctis smiles at him. “You’re totally checking me out, by the way.” 

Ravus would argue that Noctis wore the outfit for attention in the first place, but what’s the point? “You’re not bad to look at it, if you’d stop talking.”

Noctis actually laughs. “I’d say you woke up on the wrong side of the bed, but I think you always do.” 

“At least I woke up in one, which is more than I can say for you.” 

“Yeah, I had  _ fun _ , maybe you’ve heard of it?” Noctis smirks and reaches out, playing with the tie of Ravus’s sleep pants. “I sucked Prompto off in VIP lounge at Lucid. It was hot.” 

“How predictably rebellious of you,” says Ravus, staring down at Noctis’s hands. His breathing is coming a bit faster, and he hates that Noctis gets him riled up so easily, but he can’t help himself. “You clearly want something, and you must know by now this isn’t the way to get it.” 

Except for Noctis, it usually is.

“I had two people I didn’t know tell me they wanted to fuck me in this skirt. I told them all no.” Noctis drops one hand, teasing the shape of Ravus’s cock through his cotton sleep pants with two fingers. “I’m not telling  _ you  _ no, though.” 

“I don’t recall asking.” Ravus doesn’t bother pulling Noctis’s hand away, though he’s a little surprised at Noctis’s behavior. Noctis usually saves the teasing for Ardyn. He and Ravus’s interactions are usually more volatile than this. 

Noctis presses up against him, slips his hand down under the waistband of Ravus’s pants and palms his cock. “Maybe it’s just your lucky day.” 

“You look like such a slut, I shouldn’t be surprised you’re acting like one,” says Ravus, and Noctis moans because he likes being called names, even though Ravus isn’t using the same indulgent tone as Ardyn always uses when it’s him. 

Ravus kisses him like he’s trying to prove a point and Noctis kisses back like he’s not listening and doesn’t care. “Sneaking in after sucking Prompto off in a club, asking for me to fuck you over the counter. You should be ashamed of yourself.” 

“I’m not asking,” Noctis says, letting Ravus turn him and not protesting when Ravus puts him on the counter, his arms around Ravus’s neck. “I’m offering. You want it and you know it.” 

“Which one of us came in here begging for it?” Ravus kisses Noctis and roughly runs his hands up Noctis’s thighs. He likes how Noctis looks in the fishnets, though it’s against every principle he has to actually tell Noctis that. 

“I can’t help it that snarking at me gets you ready to go,” Noctis says, which is true enough. He wriggles on the counter so he can get closer and wraps his legs around Ravus’s waist. “It’s like the more I’m a dick to you, the more you want me.” 

That’s not  _ entirely  _ true but it’s also not wrong. “Yes, and if you want  _ mine _ ,” Ravus pants, sliding his fingers into Noctis’s mouth, “You’ll stop talking and get my fingers wet.” 

Noctis makes a show of it, licking and sucking Ravus’s fingers. Ravus shoves his fingers in and out of Noctis’s pretty mouth and then gets his pajama pants shoved down enough to free his cock, slicking it up with spit as best he can. 

Noct’s fishnets are easy enough to rip. Ravus gives Noctis’s cock a few quick, hard strokes as he maneuvers himself and presses the tip of his cock against Noctis’s hole.

Noctis, the little brat,  _ yawns _ . “Sometime today? I have class at 11:00.” 

Ravus taps two fingers against Noctis’s mouth. “I’m not one of your club boys, Noctis. I’ll take my time when I fuck you, and you’ll  _ like  _ it.” Ravus gives him the full length of his hard cock in one thrust, because he knows Noctis can take it. 

Noctis moans, but then he says, “Make me like it,” demanding but with a little half-smile like he knows exactly what he’s doing. Which he does -- all the buttons Noctis pushes are the ones Ravus doesn’t like admitting he has. 

He and Noctis don’t have quite the contentious relationship they did when they moved into the house -- Ravus heard Ardyn telling Cor they were like  _ two housecats figuring out their territory and trying to avoid grooming each other or curling up to sleep, in case the master of the house might catch them at it and think they like each other.  _

The day Ravus Nox Fleuret takes a  _ nap  _ with Noctis Caelum is the day he’ll board Doomtrain to the afterlife, but perhaps the rest of it isn’t all that wrong. Noctis grabs at his shoulders, hands sliding down and Ravus’s arms, and he tries not to shudder when he feels Noctis’s fingers on the scarred skin of his arm. Noctis, because he’s not the brat he pretends to be when they work out their sniping with sex, stills his fingers and waits, looking up from beneath his lashes as he waits to see if Ravus will grab his wrist and move it away.

Ravus has done it before. Noctis doesn’t hurt him the way Ravus likes -- the way  _ Ardyn  _ does -- but sometimes he finds the gentle touches hurt worse than anything Ardyn’s ever done to him with his paddles or his violet wand. But maybe it’s the early hour or the fact Noctis is so willing and making such pretty sounds, or the scratch of his fishnets on Ravus's skin, but he doesn’t stop Noctis from touching his scarred skin. 

Noctis’s skirt is flipped up and he looks like the definition of the word  _ debauched,  _ the soles of his heavy combat boots digging into Ravus’s back. “Harder,” he gasps, and Ravus can’t quite stop himself from doing it, fucking him so hard that he’s sliding back on the slick granite and would fall off, probably, if Ravus wasn’t holding his hips. 

“I guess there’s -- something you do that doesn’t, mmm -- piss me off,” Noctis gasps. 

“Brat, shut up and take my cock,” Ravus growls. 

Noctis moans again and takes his cock in hand, stroking himself and looking like -- well, like porn, if Ravus is honest -- while Ravus drills him with his cock. Eventually he knocks Noctis’s hand away and he takes over, stroking Noctis off while he fucks him and kisses him like he’s trying to keep him from breathing. 

Noctis comes over Ravus’s fist, crying out his pleasure into Ravus’s mouth as his body goes impossibly tight around Ravus’s cock. He pulls away to bury his face in the spot between Noctis’s neck and shoulder, letting himself come only after Noctis’s orgasm has run its course. 

His back is not going to thank him for this. Ravus catches his breath and feels Noctis go all boneless and limp, lying prone on the counter like a ragdoll. When he gently eases out and straightens, Noctis gives him a smirky, satisfied smile -- and yawns, the little shit. 

“Thanks,” he says. “I sucked Prompto off but he’s not into public stuff like me, so I was worked up all night and couldn’t get off.” 

“How sad for you,” Ravus says, pulling his pajama pants up and running a hand through his messy hair. Ravus finds a towel and gets it wet, but just before he turns to throw it at Noctis, his eyes catch on the french press and the coffee he has completely ignored in favor of fucking Noctis on the counter. 

Before he can do anything, a voice drawls, “I was wondering what was taking you so long with the coffee, Ravus,” and Ravus closes his eyes, mortified as he realizes what he’s done. 

“Good morning, Noct,” says Ardyn as he pads into the kitchen. He’s shirtless and wearing a pair of loose black cotton pants, sleep-tousled hair messier than usual. “Just getting in, are you?”

“Yeah. Late night.” Noctis pushes up on the counter and reaches a hand out. “Was that towel for me?” 

On autopilot, Ravus shoves it at Noctis and turns to Ardyn, who is examining the french press and making a face. He clucks his tongue. “What a waste. Why, I don’t think this is even suitable for  _ you _ to drink, Noctis, and I’ve seen you drink coffee from petrol station machines.” 

“Hey. The vanilla one’s pretty good.” Noctis slides off the counter and flips his skirt down, and wobbles a bit. He reaches out and grabs Ravus’s arm to stabilize himself. Ravus nearly jerks his arm away, but before he can, Noct gets himself situated and lets go. 

“I’ll take your word for that,” Ardyn says.

“Gonna catch a nap before class,” Noctis says, draping himself over Ardyn and giving him a kiss. 

Ravus turns around and grips the edge of the counter, then busies himself reaching for the coffee to hopefully make up for his egregious lack of sanity. When he turns to take the french press, he sees Ardyn giving him a  _ look  _ and there’s a little thrill of fear at the thought of how utterly he made a mess of his most simple morning routine. 

“Sir,” Ravus starts, going for respectful, “I’m —” 

“Don’t say you’re sorry if you’re not sorry,” Ardyn interrupts. 

Ravus falls quiet. Ardyn hates when people apologize for enjoying something, even more than he hates making his own coffee, but Ravus wouldn’t be lying — he  _ is  _ sorry that he enjoyed himself. Still. Better to only break one rule, than two. 

Ardyn sighs. “Go get the paddle and we’ll see to your punishment  _ after  _ I’ve had my coffee.” He sounds put out, though Ravus knows by now why that is. He’d rather Ravus just owned up to enjoying fucking Noctis over the kitchen counter, but that’s going to take more than just a paddle to get out of him. 

Ravus heads downstairs to find the paddle, and gets the one with the strip of metal lining the inside — the extra bit of pain will remind him in the future not to be so careless. He returns to the kitchen to see Ardyn sipping his coffee with a pointed expression, but Ravus gives him only a mulish sort of look in return. He is not fooled. There is no possible way the coffee was able to steep appropriately in the short amount of time it took Ravus to fetch the paddle, but he says nothing, merely presents it with a bowed head. 

Ardyn sighs and takes it. “Go on, then.” 

Ravus shoves his sleep pants down and bends over the counter. 

“That’s the second time today you’ve been in this position,” Ardyn says, and there’s a hint of good cheer beneath his chastising tone. “And it’s barely seven in the morning. I must be rubbing off on you.” 

Ardyn makes him wait for it while he drinks what must be subpar coffee,  _ and  _ cleans up the kitchen, which he’s only doing because Ardyn is a sadist and likes the dread of making Ravus wait. Ravus’s breathing is coming too fast and quick by the time Ardyn settles a hand on his bare lower back, sighing. 

“Five for fucking Noctis before you made my coffee, and ten for your refusal to admit you enjoyed it.” Ardyn pats him on the back. “Count.” 

Ravus grits his teeth. The paddle makes a  _ woosh  _ and then the leather hits firmly on his ass, jolting him against the counter as pain blossoms over his skin and settles hot and familiar in his blood. His body stiffens, skin prickling hot and cold as he counts, “One.” 

By the time they’re at eight, Ravus is relaxed into it, face turned so that one of his cheeks is pressing against the cool granite of the countertop. His cock is half-hard as it always is when Ardyn does this, forces his guilt out and makes him quiet and calm in his head. The paddle is relentless, Ardyn’s warm voice is amused and the hand on his back is firm and controlling. 

His “twelve” comes out like a moan, and Ardyn laughs a little. 

“Oh, Ravus,” he says, but swings again. 

After fifteen, Ravus is sore enough that he knows sitting for work will be difficult — just as Ravus wants it. Ardyn rubs his hand over the hot, reddened skin of Ravus’s ass and upper thighs, then gives him a little smack with his bare hand. 

“There we are, then,” Ardyn says. “All finished, pet.” 

Ravus, his punishment taken and his mind finally settled, goes to stand — but Ardyn’s hand is still firm on his back and won’t allow him to straighten. “Sir —” 

“I don’t see why you and Noctis should have all the fun,” Ardyn says, his voice a lazy drawl, as he moves behind Ravus. Ravus can feel Ardyn’s hard cock pressing against his sore ass. “And I can’t say it was an unpleasant scene to walk into, you taking Noct on the counter. Worth the lackluster coffee, for certain.” 

Ravus almost says  _ you didn’t let it steep enough,  _ but Ardyn slides his other hand around and shoves his fingers in Ravus’s mouth. 

He’ll make a proper cup of coffee afterward. 


	2. fascist flower policies

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “We’ve already received three warnings from them.” 
> 
> “Noise violations?” Gladio asks, grinning. “I’ve been to a few of his pool parties.” 
> 
> “You’d think, but no. It’s for admittedly ridiculous infractions, one of which was an inappropriate novelty flag that Ardyn decided to put up.” 
> 
> “What was it?” Gladio asks. “The Imperial Crest of Niflheim or something?” At Ravus’s stare, Gladio starts laughing. “No. He didn’t.” 
> 
> Ravus sighs, remembering. “It’s because the first infraction was for the wildflowers in the front yard. They told him it looked uncultivated and messy, and insisted he either remove them or confine them in some fashion. The flag was his response to their, and I quote, _fascist flower policies_.” 
> 
> In which Noctis apologizes, Ravus sighs a lot, and Ardyn finds out they're hiding his mail. 
> 
> _______________________________________
> 
> More domestic silliness from the most self-indulgent OT3 ever, enjoy.

Ravus shifts on his chair, the lingering ache of that morning’s paddling a pleasant distraction from the spreadsheet he’s working on. It’s a mess but it’s _ numbers, _ and they’ll make sense eventually. That’s why he likes numbers. They can’t backtalk and they can’t deflect, argue, or cajole. They just _ are _. 

He runs a macro and waits while the cells update, and sips his now-cold tea while he studies the results with a frown. The client isn’t going to be pleased by the results, but Ravus’s job isn’t to make them happy. Thank the gods. 

There’s a knock at his door, which means it’s not Ardyn. Ardyn bothers him plenty via text or a chat app, but if he needs to interrupt Ravus during business hours he doesn’t bother knocking. 

“Yes?” Ravus is mollified enough from this morning’s activities not to remain obstinately quiet, even though he knows who it is. 

“Hey.” Noctis’s voice is quieter than Ardyn’s by a lot, and muffled by the door. He says something else, but Ravus has no idea what. 

He sighs. “Come in.” 

The door opens, and Noctis appears in his office. He looks completely different than he did earlier, face scrubbed clean and wearing a black shirt and jeans like any other twenty-two year old. He leans against the doorframe. “I just wanted to, uh. Apologize.” 

Ravus’s eyebrows go up. “Did you.” 

“Yeah. I didn’t — I mean. I didn’t think you’d get in _ trouble _.” He flushes a little. “This morning?” 

Ravus rolls his eyes. “You know the house rules as well as I do.” The difference being, of course, Noctis isn’t punished for not following them. He and Ardyn’s dynamic is completely different, and don’t involve any rules that Ravus understands. 

Noctis frowns. “Yeah, but — I guess I didn’t. Realize.” 

This is the thing about Noctis that Ravus cannot comprehend. The switch between that self-confident, slutty _ brat _ that accosted him in the kitchen and the soft-spoken young man at his door is too abrupt. Ardyn, for all his eccentricities and theatricality, is at least _ consistent. _Noctis is an unknown, there is no macro that will define or explain him. 

“You didn’t realize i was making coffee?” 

“I didn’t know you’d get _ paddled _,” Noctis says. 

Ah. So he’d either seen that or heard it, then. Ravus shrugs. He refuses to be embarrassed — he does not care a whit about what Noctis thinks about his relationship with Ardyn. His wants and needs are not for Noctis to approve or disapprove of. “Then you should have asked if I was busy.” 

Noctis gives him a look. “You could have said _ no _.” 

Yes, he could have. Should have, in fact. And he didn’t, which Ravus is not in the mood to think about or discuss at the moment. “Thank you for the reminder of my shortcomings, is that all?” 

Noctis throws his hands up. “Look, I’m not Ardyn.” 

Ravus laughs before he can help himself. “No, you’re certainly not.” 

“Which _ means _,” Noctis huffs, “I don’t get off on hurting anyone. Even you, and you’re a dick to me half the time.” His smile is sudden and sly, and perhaps he’s more like Ardyn than either of them will admit. “The other half, you’re giving me your dick.” 

“Proud of yourself for that, aren’t you.” 

“Eh.” Noctis holds his hand out flat and flips it up and down in a _ so-so _gesture. “Not my best. But I’m still pretty tired. Anyway, that’s all I wanted to say.” 

Ravus could leave it at that — and maybe he would, if not for the paddling and the fact he’s as mellow as he ever gets. He sighs. “It’s fine. It isn’t as if I was unwilling.” 

“Wow,” Noctis says, dryly. “Hot. Look, if it matters, I knew you’d be up and I wanted you to fuck me. I was even telling Prompto about how I wanted it, if you don’t believe me. You can ask him.” 

Ravus tries, and fails, to imagine a universe in which he’d ever do such a thing. “I shall take your word for it.” 

“Good, ‘cause it’s true.” Noctis peers at him. “You don’t even wanna know what I said about it, to Prompto?” 

“_ I’m _not Ardyn, either,” Ravus points out. Again. He said that this morning, didn’t he? But it’s true. Ardyn likes to hear about his sexual prowess, not Ravus. Ravus does his level best to ignore whatever feelings of sexual desire he has for Noctis. In his post-paddling calm, he can at least admit that to himself if no one else. 

“Yeah, I know.” Noctis’s grin is sudden, bright. Ravus will go to the bottom of the sea in chains before he ever admits it, but as hot as Noctis was in his clubwear and fuck-me smile, Ravus finds him almost more pleasant to look at like this.

If he were being quiet. 

“I just know what it takes to get you going, and I like how you give it to me,” Noctis says, and like Ardyn, if he’s ever felt an ounce of shame for his sexual predilections, there’s no hint of it anywhere in his expression or his body language. 

Ravus, in his darker moods, _ hates _that about Noctis. That his life has been so charmed he can simply stand in Ravus’s office and say that out loud. That Ardyn can — and does — say similar and far more explicit things is not the point. 

But he’s not in one of those moods, at the moment. “Yes, well, you’re not very subtle. I’m the one who should know better and I should have at _ least _made Ardyn’s coffee before I let you entice me into debauchery at dawn.” 

Noctis’s mouth twitches. “_ Debauchery at Dawn _— I’m pretty sure I’ve seen Gladio reading that book.” 

Ravus is not going to smile. He’s not in _ that _good of a mood. “It’s fine, Noctis. Go on about your day, you needn’t burden your conscience with my failure to make Ardyn’s coffee.” 

“I don’t care about Ardyn’s coffee,” Noctis says, brows drawn. “I care that you got - fuck, _ spanked _, because I made you forget it.” 

Hearing that makes Ravus both embarrassed and uncomfortably aroused, and he does _ not _ want Noctis to glean either of these things. “It’s _ fine, _Noctis.” 

“I mean, I know you _ like _getting paddled and I could hear Ardyn fucking you after, so —” 

“Noctis, I’m _ working _. We don’t all have one hour a day in which we’re required to do something besides nap and go dancing.” 

“Did you actually ever _ go _to college?” Noctis throws his hands up. “Whatever, I apologized so if you wanna be a dick about it, I can’t stop you. Not like you’re ever not.” 

This is familiar enough that Ravus can tune him out. “Indeed. Is there any other insult you’d like to throw my way, or can I get back to being productive as the adults in this household are required to do?” 

“Ardyn is literally, right now, outside in the pool playing _ Words with Friends _on his phone. Drinking a smoothie.” 

“Fine, as the _ adult _in this household is required to do,” Ravus amends, and Noctis gives a quick laugh like he can’t quite help himself. 

“Sure.” Noctis pushes off the doorway, but instead of leaving he walks in and over to where Ravus is sitting. 

“What are you —” Ravus doesn’t get the rest of that out, because Noctis slides a hand around his neck and then leans down and _ kisses him _. It’s not just a quick tease of a kiss, either. Noctis is a good kisser. 

Ravus kisses back for a few seconds, then comes to his senses and bites Noctis’s lower lip. “I’m _ working _.” 

“I know. Thanks, though. For this morning. I needed that.” Noctis straightens up, stretches, and gives Ravus the same grin he often gives Ardyn. The implications of _ that _are dire. “You might not want to admit it, but you spoil me just as much as Ardyn.” 

“Noctis, go _ away _.” Ravus turns around faces his spreadsheet, which, despite his innate talent for financial analysis, looks a bit like gibberish at the moment. Even numbers and math are betraying him. Wonderful. 

“Sure. Later.” With that, Noctis leaves and closes the door behind him — quietly, because the worst thing about Noctis is that he’s _ thoughtful _. This would all be so much easier if he weren’t. 

Ravus stares at his computer monitor, then presses down onto his chair until the residual pain of his bruised ass clears his head enough to focus on work instead of his infuriating — Noctis. 

The numbers, at least, eventually make _ sense. _

***

Ravus is lost enough in his spreadsheet that it’s half-past one by the time he emerges for lunch, heading downstairs to fix himself something. He glances outside, but there’s no sign of Ardyn lounging by the pool, and the house is quiet, meaning he must have gone out. 

(Ardyn _ has _ a home office, which Ravus has seen him inside of exactly once, the day they moved in. He takes most of his business calls outside, often on a pool float, because, as he told Ravus, _ what’s the point of working from home if I can’t rub it in that I’m not in an office? _) 

By the time he has to leave for the gym to meet Gladio for their twice-weekly workout, Ardyn hasn’t reappeared. That isn’t unusual, though, so Ravus sends him a text and heads out to meet Gladio at the crossfit gym. 

Ravus doesn’t have many friends, outside of Ardyn and his sister. But Gladio is acceptable company, Ravus enjoys the added competitive element of their workouts as far as motivation, and he’s not one to ask overly personal questions or, gods forbid, try and goad Ravus into fucking him over the workout equipment like _ someone _would be. 

With that morning’s bruises still a pleasant ache and his body tired from the vigorous activity, Ravus is as relaxed as he almost ever is, outside of a scene with Ardyn. Enough so that he agrees to Gladio’s suggestion of grabbing dinner, where Gladio tells him about his upcoming camping trip and they discuss the possibility of adding a climbing wall to their workout routine. 

Ravus is just finishing his black-bean burger and Thunara wheat beer when he gets a message on his phone. Expecting it to be from Ardyn, he’s surprised to see it isn’t — it’s from Noctis. 

The message says, _ you should probably come home _ and is followed by an attachment. It’s a photograph, and it takes a few seconds for Ravus to realize what it is — a letter, from the neighborhood HOA, addressed to _ Mr. Ardyn Izunia and Household. _

Ravus groans. 

“Problem?” Gladio asks, glancing at him. 

Ravus and Gladio are friends enough that they can go out for a post-workout dinner without it being awkward, but Ravus has never, to his knowledge, discussed his private life beyond the obvious with him before. 

Before he can answer, Noctis’s next message comes through. 

_ Did you notice it said ‘third notice of meeting reminder.’ _

Oh, no. 

“One moment,” Ravus says, and sends a message back. 

_ You were supposed to be on mail duty this week. _

Seconds after he sends it, the three dots appears to show that Noctis is replying. He types must faster than Ravus. 

_ Yeah I know but I was gone at class remember and then I had a study session, sry forgot to tell you :/ _

Ravus sighs. “Noctis and I have been vigilant in one aspect of home ownership, which is trying to keep Ardyn away from the HOA — Home Owner’s Association,” he clarifies. “They enforce what Ardyn refers to as _ fascist and arbitrary rules of good taste, _ and while Noctis and I have our — disagreements — we are both committed to keeping Ardyn _ away _from the organization.” 

“Why?” Gladio asks. 

Ravus levels a stare at him. “You _ work _for him, Gladio. You must have some idea.” 

Gladio, who is the head bartender at Lucid, flashes a grin. “He’s not a bad boss, really. I mean, he’s hardly ever there. I know he owns the place, but most of us think of Cor as our boss. Don’t tell Ardyn I said that, though.” 

Ravus points his fork at him. “_ Exactly _.” He shakes his head. “We’ve already received three warnings from them.” 

“Noise violations?” Gladio asks, grinning. “I’ve been to a few of his pool parties.” 

“You’d think, but no. It’s for admittedly ridiculous infractions, one of which was an inappropriate novelty flag that Ardyn decided to put up.” 

“What was it?” Gladio asks. “The Imperial Crest of Niflheim or something?” At Ravus’s stare, Gladio starts laughing. “No. He didn’t.” 

Ravus sighs, remembering. “It’s because the first infraction was for the wildflowers in the front yard. They told him it looked uncultivated and messy, and insisted he either remove them or confine them in some fashion. The flag was his response to their, and I quote, _fascist flower policies_.” 

In which Noctis apologizes, Ravus sighs a lot, and Ardyn finds out they're hiding his mail.

Gladio bursts out laughing. “Wait, why don’t you want him going to the meeting, again? It sounds hilarious.” 

“Perhaps if you don’t live with him,” Ravus says, and sends a message back to Noctis. 

_ I’m on my way, don’t bother lying about it. _

Ardyn has to know why neither Ravus nor Noctis want him anywhere near an HOA meeting. If he doesn’t, then the only person lying is _ him. _

***

When Ravus gets home, Ardyn’s car is in the garage, as is Noctis’s flashy little sports car. Ravus goes inside, but the house is suspiciously quiet; no television, no sound of Noctis playing one of his loud video games, nothing. It’s dark, too, and given it’s only eight-thirty, that is _ also _suspicious. 

Ardyn and Noctis are both late sleepers and night owls. If they’re in bed already, they’re not asleep. Ravus figures Noctis has distracted Ardyn with sex, and if it works, he’s certainly not going to complain. 

On the kitchen table, though, he notices there are three missives from the HOA — two that were confiscated before Ardyn saw them, and the third one. 

“Noctis, you’re supposed to shred the evidence,” Ravus mutters, grabbing a bottle of water and heading upstairs for his post-workout shower. 

The second he gets to the bedroom, he stops and _ stares. _

Noctis is on the bed, tied up in one of the more elaborate shibari rope harnesses that Ravus has ever seen. The rope is a shimmery dark blue that looks almost black until the light hits it, and is one that Ardyn bought specifically to look pleasing with Noctis’s coloring. 

He ties Ravus up with snow-white rope or a bright purple. Ardyn does like his aesthetics. 

Noctis is kneeling on the black silk sheets that Ardyn bought because it looked good with _ both _of them, naked save the rope and a black velvet collar with a dangling little diamond. Noctis very rarely wears his collar at home, as it’s intended mostly to be shown off. Like Noctis. 

Noctis is giving him a _ look _. 

“The shredder,” Ravus hisses, “Is in my _ office _.” 

“You keep it _ locked _,” Noctis hisses back. 

“Hello, darling, how was your workout?” 

Ravus glances at Ardyn, who is sitting in a chair behind the behind. In one hand, he’s holding the length of snow-white rope. In the other, Ravus’s collar. There is a rattan cane next to him, leaning against the chair, deceptively innocuous. 

“It was fine,” Ravus says, glancing between the two of them. 

Noctis shrugs — or tries, as best can, in the rope harness. “I didn’t lie.” 

“You told Noctis to _ lie _?” 

“Of course not,” Ravus huffs. He’s still in his workout garb, his hair up in a loose ponytail, sans the shoes he took off by the door. He glances between Noctis and Ardyn, unsure what to do. 

“Stealing my _ mail _ ,” Ardyn huffs. He’s smiling, but it’s the kind of smile that makes Ravus wary and aroused despite his fear. His voice has that edge, and it’s _ certainly _not one Ravus has ever heard Ardyn use around Noctis. 

“It said _ and household _,” Noctis says. 

“My name is on the mortgage,” Ravus points out. 

Ardyn’s eyes narrow. “Why on earth have you both been keeping the mail from the HOA from me? It’s simply about a meeting. What reason do you have, either of you, to keep me from attending a meeting.” 

Ravus and Noctis exchange a glance. Noctis is grinning outright, the scamp. 

Ardyn unfolds from the chair, and he’s dressed down in a loose pair of pajama pants and a tight t-shirt that Ravus suspects is actually his. His hair is half-up, half down, and he looks both smug and predatory. Ravus’s stomach tightens with anticipation even as his knees weaken. He’s so distracted that he doesn’t even realize he hasn’t answered, and all Noctis has done in response to Ardyn’s question is laugh. 

“I believe I asked a question, _ household _,” Ardyn drawls. 

“Ardyn, honestly,” Ravus says. “Why do you think?” 

Ardyn stops in front of him, and then his smile vanishes and he slaps Ravus, smartly, across the face. “Oh, I think you might want to address me some other way, pet.” 

Ravus’s blood heats and his face burns, both from the smack and having it administered in front of Noctis. He can’t even blame Noctis, this time, for his forgetfulness. Ravus isn’t as mouthy as Noctis, but he’s certainly no pushover. “_ Sir, _honestly. Why do you think?” 

There’s a brief flash of amusement on Ardyn’s features before he says, “I can’t imagine. I do live here, and pay the absolutely _ outrageous _fee —” 

Ravus and Noctis exchange another look, which earns Ravus another smack across the face. “Why is it you two only ever get along at my expense? First, my coffee, and now, my chance to tell this entire organization that they are worse than the Disciplinary Council at Angelgard Academy?” 

Annoyed, because his transgression this morning was supposed to be _ forgiven, _Ravus answers stiffly, “We simply do not think you need to spend your time arguing with people who won’t see things your way.” 

“You have _ met _me, haven’t you?” 

“We didn’t, uh, want you to be gone,” Noctis offers, from where he’s still kneeling on the bed. “You know. We’d miss you.” 

Ravus casts his eyes to the ceiling. 

Ardyn snorts. “Yes, we all know that Ravus despises quality alone time, and you, Noctis, so bereft of friends and admirers to entertain you.” 

“We didn’t wish to bear the brunt of your overbearing neighborhood politics,” says Ravus, only a tad smugly. He’s not supposed to lie. It’s a Rule. 

“You don’t even _ like _the neighbors,” Ardyn points out. 

“Precisely my point.” Ravus crosses his arms over his chest. “You’ve enough to occupy you, SIr. There’s no need to add something that won’t give you any return on investment.” 

“But I shall _ annoy _ the _ neighbors _,” Ardyn says, bright gold eyes gleaming. “Ravus, I don’t know why you think I can’t simply show up at this meeting and discuss their draconian policies like any concerned homeowner.” 

“Because I _ have _met you,” Ravus says, staring at him. “We both know you very well, Sir, and you shall not be happy until you’ve taken over the organization and elected yourself president.” 

“Nonsense,” says Ardyn, waving a hand. “Strip, Ravus.” 

“I should shower, sir,” Ravus says, but he pulls off his tank top. 

“You should do as I say,” Ardyn says, voice sharp. “And commence making it up to me.” 

It isn’t as if Ravus minds being stripped, put in his collar and meticulously tied up for Ardyn’s pleasure. He ends up kneeling on the bed as well, studiously avoiding Noctis’s gaze while he lets Ardyn wind the ropes — considerably tighter than he has for Noctis, including through the loop of his collar — staring straight ahead while Ardyn adds a few hits of the rattan cane on his back. It doesn’t hurt, with the ropes criss-crossing over his back providing a bit of a buffer, but the slight _ tap tap _ is enough to get Ravus wanting _ more. _

But there’s no more pain, because Noctis is here, too, and very rarely participates in their scenes where Ardyn gives vent to his more sadistic urges to satisfy Ravus’s masochism. Ardyn makes Noctis suck his cock, one hand in Ravus’s hair so he’s forced to watch while Noctis pleasures him. It isn’t as though Ravus is jealous, he’s never claimed — nor wanted — exclusive rights to Ardyn’s body. 

It’s that Ardyn knows Ravus hates that Noctis turns him on, and being captive by the shibari ornamentation won’t allow Ravus to hide it. Noctis does look lovely with his mouth full of Ardyn’s cock, restrained in a way that is designed to show off his body rather than cause discomfort. 

Ardyn fucks Ravus after that, kneeling behind him with the rope tied around his wrist so that with each thrust, it pulls at Ravus’s collar. He comes on _ both _of them and then falls on the bed, looking sated and far too pleased with himself. Then, because Ardyn is a sadist through-and-through, he frees Ravus from his bonds and says with a wave, “See to dear Noct, would you?” 

Sighing, Ravus finds the edge of the rope harness on Noctis and begins to unwind it. Noctis blinks lazily at him, looking as if that was more a fun evening’s activity than any sort of repercussions. Ravus’s throat aches a bit from being choked with the collar, the ropes were tied hard enough to leave a few reddened abrasions that will likely fade by morning, and Ardyn wasn’t gentle when he fucked him. 

He can’t say he disagrees, and when Ardyn is placated sufficiently, Ravus tugs Noctis with him in the shower — ostensibly to follow the rest of his orders, which were to _ see to dear Noct. _

“Did he open them?” Ravus asks, standing under the water and enjoying the last few residual stings from his various marks. 

Noctis gives him a sleepy look, blinking those wide blue eyes at him. 

Ravus scowls. “That doesn’t work on me.” 

“Huh?” Noctis yawns, then shoves him a bit to get to the shampoo. “I’m not really listening, sorry.” 

Ravus shoves him back, and they spend a few minutes jostling for no reason before he says, again, “The _ letters, _Noctis. Did he read them? Does he know when this meeting even is?” 

“He read one, and I think he put it in his phone.” Noctis grins, pushing his dark black hair out of his face. “But remember that one time he tried that, and it was for like, _ next _year?” 

Calendars and electronics, Ardyn’s mortal enemies. Ravus smiles. “We’ll have to make sure he forgets that meeting, Noctis.” Noctis nods, and holds up his fist. Ravus fistbumps him, and then pushes him out of the way to get the conditioner _ and _ so Noctis doesn’t get any _ ideas. _

This isn’t some declaration of tender feelings, it’s _ strategy. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not an advocate of Crossfit by any means, but you can't tell me Ravus and Gladio don't do this and like, throw giant tires at each other. 
> 
> Next time: Ravus and Noctis team up to keep Ardyn from taking over their HOA. Yes, this is really the plot. _I warned you._
> 
> EDIT: I realized the bit in the summary somehow got left out of the fic?? It's fixed now. SIGH.


End file.
